I preemptively called it a good day. It wasn’t.
Sunday and Monday were good days. Nothing extraordinary happened, but my brain let me have a couple good days. Sunday, I slept, I hung out with a friend, I watched Dead Poets Society in the theater, and I went out with the fiancé.
Yesterday I worked. Nothing good or bad about the day, but I didn’t want to hide in the bathroom at any point, which is HUGE for me lately at work. And it’s not because I don’t like my job. I love my job. And the people I work with, but my anxiety and depression have been off the charts lately and simple tasks have been epic battles.
I didn’t sleep much last night and I’m incredibly tired. And it rained this morning with my car window broken. But honestly, I don’t mind. I’m going to be out of work by noon and get some wedding stuff taken care of. Even that doesn’t seem too far out of the realm of possibility today.
I’m celebrating my wins. And even though nothing overtly wonderful has happened, I’ve had a few good days and I’m just trying to stay positive and see how long I can keep this streak going. My appetite is back and I think I’m going to cook today.
Life is tough, even more so when you’re fighting against your own thoughts and brain. But right now, in this moment, I’m okay. And okay is good enough for now.
I’m falling more in love with the idea of clintasha. Like I have all these stupid head cannons about what they’re like together. Why?! Why do I think about stupid things like this?! Ugh, they’re just so damn adorable in my head.
My mom’s take on what’s going on in Ferguson (via actualbanshee)
Your mom isn’t wrong. That’s why it’s so important to keep the signal going. Too many are silenced with lies and fear and if they cannot speak then we have to do it for them.